I Do Not Have A Diary

Negro, Please


I met a very intelligent old man this weekend. A doctor of history and latin, this man was pretty much a walking encyclopedia. I spent much of the weekend learning about all types of stuff that I won’t remember, but was cool in the moment. Dr. SmartyPants was good in my book, until he looked at me and let the most offensive sentence cascade out of his mouth. I was sitting on the couch, minding my business, writing.

“Oh, I see you’re writing in your diary there.”

*record comes to a screeching halt*

I don’t think I’ve given an eye as evil as the one that little Mr. I Know Everything About Everything recieved in that moment. This look was followed by an icy “This is Not a diary. I don’t have a diary.” What I really wanted to say:

Bruh, I’m 25 years old, and I write. I write everything. Notes, plans, thoughts. I write everywhere. Any paper at any time that I have words that need to be written will work for me. I prefer a notebook. I am currently writing in a notebook. This notebook is not pink, or purple or decorated with some freakishly feminine design. This book that I’m writing in does not have a little lock, nor do I need a key to access the pages. I’m a grown ass woman. I do not have a diary. Fall back. 


I write. It’s what I do, and a big part of who I am. It keeps me organized. It has kept me sane at times. It has prevented more bad decisions than I can count. It has assisted in the birth of ideas. I do not have a diary. I have a little extensions of myself.


I Will Be Careful With My Steps

I have had a habit in the past of making decisions on a whim and immediately carrying them out without a second thought. This seemed to work for me quite well, mainly because I wasn’t concerned with consequences. Whatever happened in the future was not happening in the present, thus not at the forefront of my thoughts. I was in the moment, the decision and seeing that it was carried out in grande fashion.

Those days are no more. I have much more time to think on my hands. I contemplate my future more often than one would think. I ponder over the domino effect of various decisions. I weigh the options of stepping out on a random hunch or waiting for opportunity to fall into my lap. I have not completely abandoned my gut feelings and instincts, though. Those feelings are what landed me in Nashville again in the first place. That is a decision that I am still reminded, sometimes on a daily basis, was the right one to make. When it comes to my future, I am careful with my steps.  am not going to up and decide that I am supposed to follow Option A or start pursuing Idea B. Everything about a decision will be well analyzed and prayed over. I will not place a time limit on making decisions. However long it takes for me know received answers and approval/disapproval from the man upstairs will be how long it takes me to take my next step. This is, after all, my life and I have to make sure that I’m doing everything that is right for ME.

I Want A Job…

I want to put these on and zone out.


Is it possible to get paid to listen to music? That’s it. Sit at home and listen to music. Go to shows and listen to music. I’m not a writer, and I’m as politically incorrect and rude as they come, so I wouldn’t want to be responsible for writing reviews. I don’t want to be an A&R or any sort of head hunter because pitching artists to others is not my thing. If I like something /someone, I like them. I can’t be bothered with convincing others to like them too. I want to listen. Enjoy. Dissect for myself. Listen again with a better understanding.

Can I get paid to sit in my living room in sweats – size extra large – with my macbook hooked up to surround sound speakers; iTunes on an overflowing ‘Recently Added’ playlist, and vibe all day? Can I pick out what I love and put them on repeat? All day. I mean, I can tweet lyrics so it won’t seem like I’m getting paid for nothing. Can I receive a salary to dress up and go to all the new venues that I’ve discovered to witness all of the talent coming from my city? Can my employment package include me being front row center for my favorite artists when they stop through on tour?


Can I get paid to go somewhere like this?

Who would hire me for such a position? Seriously. I need answers. Suggestions. Someone point me in the right direction. I’ll put on my best suit and give and amazing interview. I’ll show how diverse of a musical palette I possess. I’d create charts and diagrams relating artists and songs that only I would think to connect; put together my ideal concert line-ups and set lists. I’d so so so get that job.

To sit and listen to music all day, how glorious!!

Soundtrack To My Life Vol. 3

The past couple of weeks haven’t allowed much room for blogging. That doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a song in my head for everything. Because when is there not a song in my head? Exactly.

Without further delay, here’s the soundtrack since my last soundtrack.

I’ve been praying a tremendous amount more than I ever have before. I’ve actually found that my handwriting is the best when I pray. This chorus has a reoccurring role on my playlist.


My friends are cool. I have one friendship in particular that I would have never imagined to grow as much as it has. Recently she’s just been there. She hasn’t done anything out of the ordinary, but I needed her none the less.


I just like this song. It’s kind of appropriate for events far past and recent. I’m hard-headed. And I’m not just referring to relationships. This song  just happen to get heavy rotation because I like the album.