New Direction

As I’ve continued to change, I’ve avoided my little corner of the internet. There’s no reason why, other than God. I think this period of life didn’t require me to write. I not only took a break from the internets, but from my notebooks as well. My crutch was set aside, and I learned how to talk to God. With my mouth. I don’t know why I was so intimidated by closing my eyes, looking to the heavens and talking to the Lord. Maybe I didn’t feel worthy enough to talk to him without a buffer. Yeah, that’s exactly what it was. But that’s the beauty of God. He is all for listening to us imperfect people down here on earth. I can’t explain how much this breakthrough has changed my life. It sucks that it took so long for me to get it, but now that I got it I’m oh so good.

Now, let’s get to what I’ve been up to lately. I’ve made new connections, am involved in an amazing new church (shoutout to Nashville Life Christian Church) and have been to a few amazing shows. I’ve also decided which direction that I’m going to take this blog. It’s no secret that I love me a live music experience. I love music in general. I’ve been asked what my dream job would be on multiple occasions, and I’ve given the same answer. If I could get paid to do anything at all, I would choose traveling the world and listening to music. Who says that I can’t do that now? Well, I’m not in the position to travel the world but I can make a few stops across these United States. And why not tell people about my experiences? Sooooo yea, most posts over here will be music and show related. I might even finally buy my domain name. Maybe.

I’m excited to finally get back into sharing. Stick around. This is going to be good.

MY God Wouldn’t Send Me A Gay Man

The polite/politically correct thing to do would be to start this post with a disclaimer, but I’m not too much of either. My beliefs and opinions on sexuality are irrelevant, which is why I haven’t posted them. Want a disclaimer? Read it here.

Throughout my 25 years of life, I’ve witnessed many a marriage end in divorce for a myriad of reasons. I’ve seen more than I’d like to admit end because the male in the relationship liked men. Some were more “I’m leaving you. I’m gay”, while others were a “I’m going on ‘business’ trips to pride weekends” type of guys. All were gay.

I started thinking about these women that entered unions  in which one person was homosexual. In the past I’d heard the vast majority say, on numerous occasions, that their husband was sent to them by God. Heard them talk about how He placed this wonderful man in their life when they were least expecting it. How grateful they were for such a blessing.

And this is the face that I make on the inside when I hear of their terrible divorce.

 Now, I know that God is always in the blessing business, but didn’t he say somethings in The Good Book about being equally yoked? Something about hetero and homo just don’t  seem very equal. Maybe it’s just me.

There is the argument that could be made for the unfortunate victims of divorce, that they didn’t know. Very much a possibility. For some. But hasn’t God also given us a spirit of discernment? We can even take God out of the equation for a second. Women have gut feelings. Did not nary a one of these women have a feeling that something just wasn’t right? NONE OF THEM?! Of course not. God sent them the man. He’s perfect!

No. Let’s be real. MY  God doesn’t just send out alley oops of complete failure for entertainment purposes. You can’t tell me that he plopped a man who likes men in front of you and said “here is the man who you are supposed to love and marry”. Just… NO. Here’s the way that I imagine these mismatched marriages come about:

Women live their lives in fear of being forever alone. As they get older, this fear become much more real. So what do they do? Find themselves a man, duh. The problem is, their determination to win over their impending forever aloneness overshadows everything else. They have blurry vision. They don’t see all of the signs. They’re too busy listening to the ticking clock to hear anything else. They’re too preoccupied day dreaming about having a gut full of baby to notice the tug in their gut letting them know that something isn’t quite right.

Do I believe that God does indeed place people into our lives for various reasons? Yes. Do I believe that the man with whom I will enter holy matrimony will be someone who The Big Guy has placed in my life? Yes. Do I think that the gay men that women marry and give all sorts of testimonials about were sent to them by God? Absolutely not. MY God just wouldn’t do that. I don’t know about yours.