I do not have children, but I do know plenty of people who are parents. Some are excellent, and some make wonder. Some questions that come to mind when I’m in the presence of horrible parenting are:
1. Do you really think that what you’re doing is going to work?
2. You know that YOU are the parent right?
3. Do you see your child right now?
4. Have you ever thought about taking a parenting class? Please take a parenting class!!
What kinds of things bring up these questions? I’m glad you asked.
- Do you know what a little person’s job is? To fill our lives with love and affection, of course. They are also supposed to get on our nerves and test the patience of every grown person with whom they happen to come in contact. That is not a valid excuse for your day to be ruined as soon as your feet hit the floor. The little person doesn’t know any better. They are simply living their little person life. Your attitude won’t do anything but make them look at you with the ill side eye and go back to playing with their toys.
- When there are twenty-plus years between you two, there should be no such things as an option. You want to give out options? Here’s one for you – Do what I say or catch a backhand.
- We’ve always been told that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and it’s my personal favorite. As we say in the wonderful world of twitter, Breakfasts >>>>>. With that said, I would like to point out a key word: BREAKFAST. Here are some things that do not fall under the breakfast umbrella:
- Any random remnants of candy found in a car seat
- Any form of potato chip. This includes baked, healthy choice and veggie.
- Oreo Cakesters
- Children are taught to listen to grown ups. No child will obey someone their age. Bargaining will never lead to success, and your child will walk away from you like the crumbsnatchers in daycare. Man up. Act your age.
That concludes my first installment of Please Go Take A Parenting Class!