I Don’t Have The Answers

If given enough time, I’ve always been able to answer any question thrown my way. Yes, sometimes I pull the answers from the abyss of my imagination, but I always have an answer. Right now, as I sit on this couch, I can confidently say that I do not have an answer to any of the questions that are being thrown at my way.

I recently felt a pull in the pit of my stomach that wouldn’t go away. At the same time I began to feel a weight on my shoulders that wouldn’t go away. For a while, I continued going through the motions of my everyday life. I even had some fun (which I usually have plenty of). Then I decided to leave. I packed and left. Why? I don’t have a specific answer to that question. All I can say is that it felt right.

Now it looks as if I’m supposed to have a plan. I don’t. Do I want to go back? I don’t think so. Am I sure? Not at the moment. Do I want to stay where I am currently? At least for the next few weeks. What do I want to do next? Ha! I have not a clue.

I went to church Sunday. I haven’t been since the time before the last time that I was at home. I think the minister took a peek at the past few weeks of my life before writing his sermon. At the end of the service, an elder who’ve I’ve known as far as I can remember said something. “A weed is a flower planted in the wrong place” And that’s when I knew for sure.

I may not be able to answer all of the questions, but there is one that I will feign a response with no hesitation. “Are you sure that you made the right decision?” Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything.


One thought on “I Don’t Have The Answers

  1. Yes, there are more questions than answers; or seems to be. So I’ll make it worse by asking a few more. And no, the answers aren’t for me, they are for you. Here goes. Why did you chose H.U. ? Did H.U. live up to it’s billing? Do you feel that you’ve grow as a person in this time?

    What were your dreams as a young girl? Be?Do?Go?See?Help?Discover?Achieve?Have?Give?………………..In those childhood day dreams we often times find our purpose and calling. Just sayin.

    And speaking of purpose; it is a life long journey to fulfill ones purpose and it can take many turns.

    One great question is “What makes you come alive when you do it”? What gives you joy just in the experience?
    You know for me, it’s teaching and helping. Management was that avenue for me much more than sales.
    Sometimes there is the road that leads to the ultimate destination. But it must be traveled for purpose lies at the end of it.
    The no where job, the people who are in the way, corporate and government bull. You know.

    And after all this, the first priority should be, “Are you pleasing God by following His lead”? or are all these just your chooses?

    My advice, (as though you asked), in this time of questions and seeking and searching; talk to God more than ever. Follow His
    lead. His answer may sound weird, but follow anyway. Than when any of US, WE’S, FAM ask, ……. The answer is You’re following
    GOD’S Lead.

    LUV U Buckethead

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