If given enough time, I’ve always been able to answer any question thrown my way. Yes, sometimes I pull the answers from the abyss of my imagination, but I always have an answer. Right now, as I sit on this couch, I can confidently say that I do not have an answer to any of the questions that are being thrown at my way.
I recently felt a pull in the pit of my stomach that wouldn’t go away. At the same time I began to feel a weight on my shoulders that wouldn’t go away. For a while, I continued going through the motions of my everyday life. I even had some fun (which I usually have plenty of). Then I decided to leave. I packed and left. Why? I don’t have a specific answer to that question. All I can say is that it felt right.
Now it looks as if I’m supposed to have a plan. I don’t. Do I want to go back? I don’t think so. Am I sure? Not at the moment. Do I want to stay where I am currently? At least for the next few weeks. What do I want to do next? Ha! I have not a clue.
I went to church Sunday. I haven’t been since the time before the last time that I was at home. I think the minister took a peek at the past few weeks of my life before writing his sermon. At the end of the service, an elder who’ve I’ve known as far as I can remember said something. “A weed is a flower planted in the wrong place” And that’s when I knew for sure.
I may not be able to answer all of the questions, but there is one that I will feign a response with no hesitation. “Are you sure that you made the right decision?” Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything.