Brace Yourself! But Not THAT Much

I spend more time bracing myself than what is healthy. You know how people tense up in preparation for an impact that they see coming? I do the exact same thing mentally and emotionally almost every day. The problem lies in the fact that I don’t know what’s coming or exactly when it’s coming. I just make sure that I’m always prepared.

I never get too comfortable with someone: the next blow may be that they’re no long in my life. I never stop looking for jobs: I could lose the ones I have, or have my wages cut suddenly. I take all promises with a grain of salt: the promisor could very well not mean any of it. The same goes for conversations and plans for the future with others: I do not know what tomorrow holds. Anything could happen.
I am not a pessimist. I’ve developed this habit because I hate the feelings that accompany the impact. The disappointment, stress, sadness etc. I want to be ready for them all in advance which will make working them will be easier. Well, that’s my logic anyway.

There is a slight problem with this lifestyle I’ve chosen. It is hindering me from fully experiencing and enjoying things. I never bask in the moments of my life because I’m too occupied with ensuring that I’m prepared for them to end. I taint great memories because I feel that I need to accept that something so great may never happen again. I’m too busy planning how I’m going to pick up pieces that haven’t even fallen. I spend way too much time thinking about “what if” scenarios. I’m starting to become defeated before there’s even a fight.

I know that I should be prepared to an extent. I’m not wanting to live some care-free life, or frolic around like I have no issues. I just don’t want to think so much that I create unnecessary problems.
Isn’t this what God is for? Shouldn’t my faith take care of this? I think so. I’m hoping that as my relationship with God grows, my need to stay ready for impact will diminish.

2 thoughts on “Brace Yourself! But Not THAT Much

  1. I have learned to let go of some of my ‘bracing’ and with that I’ve found that there can be good to come out of the bad. Once I get over the initial impact there is normally a lesson or some other positives that presents itself. I give credit to both my faith and me liking me more and more.

  2. Prepare for the worse but hope for the best. And enjoy life. Sometimes thinking that the other shoe is bound to drop only makes it happen. Don’t THINK trouble into existence.

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