This weekend I learned a great amount without even trying, and it all started with a date to go see For Colored Girls. (No this is not a post about the movie. Calm down) The movie was…. Intense. Our discussion following the movie, over wine and cheese (yeah we’re fancy), was even more intense.
I learned so much from talking to a few colored girls.
See, prior to this weekend I looked at all of these women with the same eyes. They were the eyes of perfection. Cookie cutter happy lives, with cookie cutter issues that always have a happy ending. I was wrong. These women have been through LIFE but you would never be able to tell. They are strong. They are stronger than strong. They have been through hell and back again, some more than once, yet they wake up every day and pursue their dreams. They don’t sit and wallow in their sorrows or dwell on their pain.
I know that people go through things, but my naivety and slight self-centeredness always had me thinking that they all show it in one way or another; that somewhere in their personality, there’s an element of damaged. An indication of the pain that they’ve endured and the scar that was left behind. Then I realized that no one knows my pain unless I let them know. Yes, I know what behaviors and hang-ups display my pain, but how would others know?
What else did I learn? I learned that it wouldn’t hurt to be more like these women. I have a habit of allowing things to hold me back. Something bad will happen and I will completely shut down. Forget what I’ve already accomplished in my life. Forget that I have the skills and knowledge to accomplish so much more. Fear tells me to give up before I start because there’s no way I can actually complete the task/meet the goal. The work is simply too hard. Surely I will give up along the journey. Why put myself through it in the first place? When I heard the stories of my beautiful friends and I know that they still haven’t given up it hit me. How dare I not push myself? Who am I to tell me that I can’t do anything?
All because I talked to a few colored girls.